Poll: Match made in Heaven...??
Salaamun 'alaykum everybody..
I thought of doing something different this time; I wanted to write my next blog entry on the basis of YOUR input.
I need your comments on the following statement:
"Matches are made in Heaven and met on Earth!"
Do you really think so? YES or NO?
and most importantly - whyyyy do you say so....? (Restrict to maximum 2 reasons)
I don't want to start with my own answer - because I want to see your responses first - as part of my final research :)
Life made easy: Should you not want to disclose your identity, you can choose to comment as Anonymous :)
Deadline to comment: Saturday 9th December 2006 (revised date!)
Any comments received after 9th December will not be included as part of my research (however, it will still be additional input on the topic :))
Comment then: Keep them coming!
Sadaf Zahra
I thought of doing something different this time; I wanted to write my next blog entry on the basis of YOUR input.
I need your comments on the following statement:
"Matches are made in Heaven and met on Earth!"
Do you really think so? YES or NO?
and most importantly - whyyyy do you say so....? (Restrict to maximum 2 reasons)
I don't want to start with my own answer - because I want to see your responses first - as part of my final research :)
Life made easy: Should you not want to disclose your identity, you can choose to comment as Anonymous :)
Deadline to comment: Saturday 9th December 2006 (revised date!)
Any comments received after 9th December will not be included as part of my research (however, it will still be additional input on the topic :))
Comment then: Keep them coming!
Sadaf Zahra
posted by *s...z* at
4:06 PM
37 Comments:
WHAT? they're made in heaven?? i thought mom n dad were going to decide... khair, now that i know they're made up there.. i should tell them not to look for anyone! :D
ok jokes apart, i personally dont think thats true, i guess its how much a person/or in this case both make an effort to live upto each others expectations..
(not really qualified to comment any further)
I certainly believe that as all good originates from the Creator of everything and as I am endowed with a Soulmate inspite of an absolutely 101% arranged marriage, there had to be a Mighty Graceful Hand to have made it happen and certainly one that must have been made up there.
I tell my wife, its like winning a jackpot, but the fact is that it was certainly matched up there.
That's my personal experience and hence view, however, why do so many marriages fail and some do go horribly wrong.....???
Well....many reasons... But I guess that is not the topic of discussion.
it is rather made in heaven as me and my husband r 2 very different people and u must have heard the fact that ."opposites attract"i guess if it was not made in heaven then i would not be having 21 yrs of peaceful marriage life mashallah
i certainly believe that when a girl or boy is born his match is already been decided by the ALMIGHTY.It just needs right time to find the right person.99% of such marriages are successful.
Yes, marriages are made in heaven. reason being we are not that capable enough . We can fix a match but not a marriage GOD is great!
IN THE NAME OF ALLAH,THE ALL MERCIFUL,THE EVER-MERCIFUL, AND EVERYTHING WE HAVE CREATHED PAIRS: THAT YOU MAY REMEMBER AND RECIEVE GUIDANCE.
THE HOLY QURAN,51:49
i do belive that marriages are made in heaven by allah(s.w.t) as i have a living example in front of my eyes...my mamu who lived in bombay and my mami in a small town near banglore(south india)...well my mum had gone to banglore to pray majlis and my mami was a part of the gruop who had organised the majlis and mum liked my mami's behavior and her ahklaq.. and went to bombay and asked mamu if he would be interested....and he told mum that if she liked the girl he would like too and through this its proven that Allah(s.w.t)has made pairs in heaven and how he makes them meet....Allah has surely made pairs in heaven and they will meet!!!!
hmmm yeah i guess eventually everyone ends up living 'happily ever after':D
but marriages dont always work out... maybe when you think theyre like teh cutest couple EVER they end up getting divorced or whatever (ex-Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston lol jk jk) but they find someone else and that marriage works out well.
so eventually, yeah i guess matches are made in heaven ...
or not.
blahhhhh not my sort of thing >.>
Got my brain churning hard and fast..
Just as every other decision which involves making a choice from more than one alternative, in the case of marriage too, naturally we exercise free will. If we believed that marriages are made in heaven, i think this implies predestination, which is a false notion. We have the power to choose, think and weigh all the pros & cons, before choosing a spouse! Islam has given us the guidelines for making that life-changing decision and in the case we make a mistake, that is definately not from the heavens.
On the other hand, nothing happens without His Will. So if He does not wish it to happen, it will not. So if inspite of all our efforts before choosing a partner, we feel something is not right with our match, there is certainly Divine Wisdom in it then. We should turn to Him to set it right for He is the Giver in every respect. It takes effort, atleast thats what I have seen with all the successful marriages. It doesnt just pop into their laps, but they use communication, alot of spirituality and understanding to create a happy home!
To conclude, I think the wonderful little super gadget sitting in our heads is certainly from the heavens, but not nessecarily the partner that we finally pick. Curious about your opinion????
wow, wow wow...
im getting to read great input from great minds; and even better, from great experience
Jazaakallah everybody! keep them coming :)
It's only helping us think broader on this topic..
Sadaf :)
At first thought, i wouldve definitely said that yes, matches are made in heaven. however, just the fact that you asked for reasons madem e ponder over the subject a bit more. i was dubious as to what opinion i am of.
anyways, i would finally want to comment that i still hold the view that matches are made in heaven.
the reason im not too sure of, but one thing i do know is that, in our lives, we do not know who we end up with. At any point in life, even if we are this close to getting married, or engaged for that matter, unless its the person Allah has chosen for you, nothing works out. On the other hand, even if one has no clue, and the 'right' person wasnt evenin view earlier, if its according to Allah's will, those two will get together, no matter as to howmany people oppose the marriage!
Around me, i have several examples of people who were very close to being committed, but some or the other thing comes in the way. No one knows why it is so. My inference as to such occurrences is simply that those two were not meant to be together. Its all Allah's maslehat in order to get those who he wants to be tied in this special bond. Moreover, there is this friend. She is alhumdulillah happily married now, btu before her engagement, her sister was engaged to the very same person. Now, she did not, in her wildest dreams have had imagined that she'd get married to the guy her sister was engaged to, but when people are ought to be together, they DO get together.. eventually!
If Allah (S.W.T.) has chosen someone for you, you will get married to that very person. even if one feels that everything is right, the only one who knows whatis best for all is the Creator who looks upon us all from up above. We can never be too sure as to what is right or wrong, good or bad!
Matches are definitely originated
up there - no two ways about it. We have the Holy Quran stating so (51:49)and without HIM saying "KUN", the one good thing in my life - i.e my wife - couldn't have been "KUN-ed" !!
I will go for marriges are made in heaven. Yes we can pray and choose our destiny but perhaps we pray for what is destined to be.
I reckon marriages are not made in heaven. This concept is just a figment of some poet or writer's fertile imagination that has over-done what it was written to do - mislead the common man. I believe, firmly, that we decide who we are going to marry.
Having said that, Allah loves us 70 times more than our mothers (sorry if I am wrong but this is what I have been taught throughout my life). Considering that fact, I reckon Allah wouldn't want us to make a bad deal (unless he wants to punish us which is highly unlikely given the intensity of the matter) - in this case, get married to a not-so-perfect spouse.
Therefore, when we are attracted to an incompatible or immperfect being, Divine intervention precedes free will and we are guided towards the ideal being. Otherwise, its just us making those decisions.
I am very sleepy right now so my apologies if what I wrote above did not make sense.
i do believe they are made in heaven.... but you can still choose what qualities you want (through dua'a)... and if they are good and worthy qualities He will incorporate them in your match....so in the end you get the perfect match for you and sort of as chosen by you!!
I firmly do not believe that marriages are made in heaven....as if they were the Prophet and Imams wouldnt have given us criterias to look on what to look for a partner... instead just asked us to wait for the one made for us in heaven.....doesnt aound practical..
Yes, I do believe that matches are made in heaven...
If Maula Ali can foresee a person's 70 generations (if anybody is going to be a muslim in his family)before killing him then why can't the matches be made in heaven.
I believe our fate is written when we are in our mother's womb..
It's destined for us - who are we going to getting married to and at what time and stage..
Gud question .....if it is arrange marriage then made in heaven...and if love then by us....and if successful life after marriage then made in heaven...and if phaddas in life then made by us....Ofcourse i do belive in this tht they r made in heaven as Holy Quran also says this...Every thing we have created pairs....
Dearest Sadaf, Assalam alaikum
Yes i believe that matches r made in Heaven.
Firstly, we know that the wedding of Bibi Fatema and Imam Ali was solemnized
in Heaven.
Secondly, in my personal case, as u already know, my husband was in khi and
i here in dubai. our families did know each other. but by Allah's grace our
marriage was arranged and we met on our wedding and happily married for 10
years now, mashallah.
Praying for u too, that inshallah u will get ur match soon. Ameen.
Take care and remember in duas, really need them for my exams now!
Allah is the best planner. Do you drink a glass of water yourself or is it because Allah wanted you to?
Think...
I suppose the first thing i need 2 do is to put up the commentary for the ayah mentioned.
Aqa Mahdi Puya says: for (51:49)
The pairing may refer to the composite nature of the created beings, or to the positive and negative aspects in creation.
and in Surah Yaseen for ayah 36
Aqa Mahdi Puya says:
This verse indicates that not only the human beings, but also animals and plants exists in pairs which fact was not known to the people of the age as an universal proposition. It also points out the existence in pairs of kinds even beyond the animal and the plant realms.
I dont think that the above ayahs suggest that "THE PAIRS" are made in heaven, but telling mankind that just like human beings Allah has created everything in pair be it male and female pairs in humans, plants and animals or the positive and negative pairs in other non living things.
With the comments it seems that all those who are happy after their marriages and got together by far, for them pairs are made in heaven, but what about all those who either after love or arrange marraige didnt get along well. So they can say very easily Allah had planned this for me and put the whole blame on this line: "Pairs are made in heaven"
Our Prophets and Imams have given a very strict criteria 4 choosing life partners. We have the criteria and senses and it is totally upto us to decide and judge whether we'll be able to live with such & such a person or not.
The only pair made in heaven was that of Bibi Fatima and Imam Ali (A).
If we belive that all pairs are then we are actually changing the phenomenon of qaza and qadar. All those who dont get along or arent happy with their marraige can accuse Allah.
It is only that since Allah does not have a time factor He knows whom we are going to end with. But He has given us free will and brains to decide ourselves. Man makes his own destiny. Woudlnt it actually be opposing Allah's justice that Heeeeeeee made the "unmatched pairs"???!!!
Again, as i say.. what about all those who did not end up "Living happily ever after?"
adeelaaaaa
i guess you wrote out EXACTLY what I was going to eventually compile as judgment for my next Blog entry!
i guess I should just copy-paste then! lol...
:D
Nonetheless, there can be endless examples and reasons for me to follow up as part of reasoning out what you have stated because I believe in it- 200%!!
Jazaakallah for your thoughts, input and references :)
lovess....Sadaf apa!
This comment has been removed by the author.
It is all a game of coincidence and circumstance!
We exist to Post-exist - Create your own morrow.
Go ahead, Ponder Thy thoughts!
p.s. - She Sells Lies, Lies I tell you! :)
at the end of the day each person goes to their own grave so dont think matches are made in heaven..and unless im corrected i dont think it says anywhere we will meet them on the other side anyway..
marriages may have been made in heaven or not .....dnt knw abt tht....bt i guess its u on whom the responsibility is to make it work out well.....to keep away ur anger, fights n live wid peace n luv wid ur partner.....jst work it out......thn it ll surely b a heaven !! ;P
Yes! marriages are made in heaven but met on the earth only at its right time. We may do whatever we can to have a perfect match. Sometimes in a hurry we might take wrong decisions or sometimes we might regret on our decisons......but when the right time comes, we find all things automatically falling into its places and finally find ourselves happy and satisfied with our decisions.
salams sadaf
my comp. has been giving me trouble lately and so was unable to post a comment earlier. None the less I feel that whatever has to b said on the topic has already been said and I feel we can conclude it by saying that marriages are made in heaven ,met on earth and it is up to the couples to keep it .
the deal is that first and foremost i think that people generally take the
phrase "match made in heaven" in the western context of the phrase which
basically means that 2 people who find that they are perfect for each other.
the fact is that we as muslims believe that our destiny is determined by God
and that at every point we have choices to make. I believe that the person
you marry is very much pre ordained. Whether it is the proverbial "perfect
marriage" or "match made in heaven" is all up to you and how you make it.
i guess matches are made in heaven i mean like for example our masoomeens..wasnt it already decided by Allah(S.W.T) that Iman Ali (A.S) and Bibi Fatima(A.S) will get married to eachother n then from them will all the imams come..n then i m not sure which imam was it i guess the 10th imam who got a dream about his marriage..takin there examples i think marriages are made in heaven.
i beg to differ.. but before any more of you quote the marriage of Imam Ali (A) and Bibi Fatima (S) - we need to understand that they were two for which Allah (S) had created NO OTHER EQUAL..
They are ma'sum, and from them had to come a lineage of pure Imams.
The imam who you were referring to - having 'aqd (marriage) decided in a dream was Imam Hassan Al Askeri (A) whose marriage with Bibi Narjis Khatoon was Divinely planned and proposed between the Prophets! Subb-haanallah
Question here is, in both cases, how can we compare THEIR marriages to OURSSS?
Inshallah.. I will be compiling my set of arguements from the comments recvd..
Jazaakallah khair everyone. Feel free to continue posting your thoughts then!
Sadaf Z
this is quite late i know, but i couldn't help but disagree with some of the comments. lol
first of all, matches are NOT made in "heaven". they are made in `Aalam-e-Takwini (the world of creations)
then,
anonymous said:
If we believed that marriages are made in heaven, i think this implies predestination, which is a false notion. We have the power to choose, think and weigh all the pros & cons, before choosing a spouse! Islam has given us the guidelines for making that life-changing decision and in the case we make a mistake, that is definately not from the heavens.
this is wrong. marriages ARE predestined in the world of creation but its path we have to choose. like, for example, death is predestined of every creature but the manner in which a person dies depends on the path he chooses. to elucidate, a person dies when he commits suicide. now his death was written at that time, but he chose that path by committing suicide.
hussain said:
Allah loves us 70 times more than our mothers (sorry if I am wrong but this is what I have been taught throughout my life).
i won't say you're not right, because allah does love us and He is closer to us than our jugular vein. but that saying goes like this 'imam loves us 70 times more than our mothers'
allah does not need numbers to show us His love for us.
i don't agree with the so called "fact" that marriages are made in heaven.
we are the ultimate beings with ultimate intelligence. some use it some dont. and then its luck as well. u are what u make out of yer life. if marrriages were made in heaven y wud a woman be abused by her husband?
y wud there be infidelity?
we are humans and we are given the right to choose. in the end...yer marriage is what u make of it. no divine intervention. just help if u choose to seek it.
i would like to again disagree. i can't resist disagreeing. lol
anonymous said:
i don't agree with the so called "fact" that marriages are made in heaven.
we are the ultimate beings with ultimate intelligence. some use it some dont. and then its luck as well. u are what u make out of yer life. if marrriages were made in heaven y wud a woman be abused by her husband?
y wud there be infidelity?
we are humans and we are given the right to choose. in the end...yer marriage is what u make of it. no divine intervention. just help if u choose to seek it.
your questions are similar to, 'i don't believe our life has been created because if it was why would there be suffering; why would there be calamities; why would there be troubles; why would there be corruption, murder, hypocrisy, etc. .'
now that the analogy is drawn, do you think these type of questions are valid?
First I must say No! the meaning of "jore aasmano mein bante hain" have taken wrongly. wen we say this in the parameters of GOD s authority ,yes its right, even that we cant keep away the fly from us without GODsubhanahu will. But here v totally mis-understood !.Its same as "Hasbuna Kitab Allah". The sentence was perfect…but its against the hujat.. which is absolutely wrong! You know y!Believe me we are using the name of religion for our materialistic needs!wen the outcome is right we r taking its credit! Wen comes wrong! we say Allah Designed this !!In fact! Allah gives us so many directions to understand wat is right. Allah Subhanahu gave us wisdom, prophets, quran. as my least knowledge nothing of these are supporting this sentence" matches made in heaven". Islam is the religion of knowledge/logic. These are one of the sleeping dozes which have arrived through our ()dreamy/self praising nature!!(sorry to say But with out pointing out this ..we cant solve such type of problems and I thankful to Ms Zehra to enlighten this sensitive issue and it should be useful by having good results)!
God create us, but he want us to be independent by choice that’s y v called superior among the creatures, so that the choice is up to us ,and most of us are using this right, when we discover something wrong then directly blame GOD . by saying< matches are made in heaven>/we are not ready to blame our selves ,because we have not fixed and follow the criteria's which given by Islam? we are keeping away our youths from marriages and facilitate them to mix-up in sinful society. These are the teachings of our Imams(as)? By saying ponstan 1000 times, we can remove the pain…of course not. Its happening in our society. we are praising Islam,Islam,Islam is the best and keeping its principals in the shelves. who will follow its principles/ahlalbait?? Who will follow the criteria which have been gifted us by God through various sources?
Was- salam
Salaam, ki haal hai? Changa? SAFE!
I don't mean to shoot you all to pieces but 'marriages made in heaven'? you having a laugh..clearly.
I think most of you are unaware of the amount of hard work which needs to go into making a marriage work. No such thing as a soul mate, and no such thing as fate.
In ANY situation, you have put in hard work to get the rewards..u cant sit on your backside and say 'If its meant to be it will be'..boll*cks
Our creator doesn't make our decisions for us - our creator doesn't do anything to make a marriage work. If the two individuals genuinely want it to work, then they will do anything necessary to make it so.
E.N.D.O.F
yyeee... they r made in heavens... GOD has chosen the ryt ppl 4 each othr n paired them up...
some tyms v wanted to mary some one else but itz not in our luck... so prbs come... n v ultimately come to meet thr person v r paried up wid in the heavens...
Congratulations to all those who have met their better halves! May Allah guide you all to success in your married lives! Mashallah I see many who have posted on this blog entry have gotten married which includes our dearest Sadaf Zahra. Please continue to write as its always lovely to go back to your emails and posts.God bless.
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